If I Was Her
by SavageRayne
Summary: HatoriAkito: Akito secretly harbored feelings for Hatori, which is why Akito hurt Hatori when Hatori wanted to marry Kana Yaoi & MPreg
1. Prologue

Prologue

Nine Tailed Mistress

"Kana and I wish to be married." How could he say that? As if my soul was thrown from my body, I watched myself grab the legs of the table next to me, swinging it in a fit of rage causeing the decorative plate to go flying at him. With a loud crash it broke against his head, blood splattered across the floor and pieces of plaster flew in all directions.

"No! I won't allow it! I refuse to allow it!" Then I seemed to be back in my own body, staring, in horror, at the sight of my beloved, holding his left eye and hissing in pain. I fell to my knees before him, "Hatori, what's wrong? Haotri..." I sounded pathetic, even to my own ears as I reached for him, but too affraid to touch. Then it struck me, all of this, everything was because of her. If she hadn't shown up and taken his heart from me this never would have happened. With my renewed anger I stood, hands shaking as I pointed an accusing finger at the woman who I despised more than anything else in this world.

"You did this! This is your fault! If Hatori loses his sight it's your fault! It's your fault." I was so consumed with my own anger that I didn't hear the shoji door open and that damned dog call my name, or the surprise in his voice as he digested the sene before him and my beloved's name passed his unworthy lips.

"Do you think you can lift the Sohma curse? Do you!?" I shouted at her, almost ready to lung at her until Shigure wrapped his arms around me, holding me back from killing the pathetic creature that held my beloved's heart in her hands.

"Kana! Hurry! Take Hatori out of here." It hit me in that moment, Hatori was still hurt. He needed me, then the struggling started, but the dog's arms tightened around me, and I watched powerless as Hatori crawled toward the girl sitting farther back in the room.

"Let me go! Let me go! You can't lift the curse! We don't need you! You're worthless to us! It's your fault! It's your fault! It's all your fault!" I shouted, how many times I don't know, but I wanted to go to him, the dog, on the other hand, had other plans and kept me away while Hatori and that vile creature escaped.

A few weeks later I commanded Hatori to my room. There he sat and listened to me as I spoke.

"It's especially at times like this that your techniques become useful, don't you agree?" I didn't look at him, and he didn't look at me either, "We both know that her memory should be erased. Before now, I doubt you would have even hesitated." I glanced down at him, before continuing, "At this very moment it's her memories of you, her feelings for you, that cause her to suffer." I turned to him, kneeling down before him. His expression was blank, it amazed me, though, how he looked so good, even with a bandage over on eye. I wanted to touch him, but I felt that I shouldn't so, I grabbed his tie, sliding my hand up until it reached his collar, "You're the only one who can save her." I breathed, wrapping my fingers around the silky material. "You can put an end to her suffering... It will be your final act of love... Hatori." I said spitefully as I stared at his angelic face, his eyes expressionless, and it hurt me to know that it was because of that woman's suffering that he was like this. I leaned in, wanting to kiss him, but knowing that I would scare him, I moved toward his ear.

"The truth is she wants you to release her," I could feel his breath on my cheeks, and futher I leaned, my lips almost pressed against his ear as I continued, "The truth is, she wants to forget."

I awoke, laying under the blankets of my futon. I stared up at the ceiling, my heart heavy and broken as the wounds from the past resurfaced. My beloved Hatori hadn't spoken to me outside of check ups since then and it hurt me to know that I could never hold such an important place in his heart, if any place at all. Sitting up I turn to my small desk and crawled toward it, situating myself before it. Opening the small drawer I move my journal and reach for the picture below it. The picture was of Hatori standing next to a tree, the sun was bright and there were clouds in the back ground. It had been taken by the rabbit that was so fond of Hatori and when I found out that he had it I secretly took it from his room. I stared at it fondly, stroking Hatori's cheek fondly as a small smile found it's way onto my lips.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Nine Tailed Mistress

It was bright out that day, big fluffy white clouds in the sky, the background pained a beautiful light blue, which blended darker as it touched down with the horizon. In short, it could be discribed as happy, but for Akito Sohma this was no happy day.

He could feel it, the head ache and the throbing in his muscles. Falling onto his side, he stared at the sky as best he could from the corner of his eye, which only served to make the pain in his head increase. He didn't bother looking up when the shoji door opened or as feet padded across the floor, drawing nearer to him. After all, he knew who it was, there was only one person who would never knock and wait for permission, that person was Hatori.

He could hear the ruffling of clothes then a cold hand touched his forehead. Supressing a smile, he pressed his forehead closer to the cool touch, until that sensual voice started to fill the room, making his heart flip in his chest.

"You are becoming sick more often now, Akito. If you don't take better care of yourself it won't be long before you may not recover from an illness." The hand was promptly moved away, leaving the head of the Sohma house wanting it back.

"And I bet you're _so_ torn up about it, am I right Hatori?" After the sarcastic taunt passed his lips he was almost affraid that the dragon would actually answer.

"It isn't my business to complain whether or not you die, I am merely telling you that you should take better care of yourself." The pain, that often occured during their meetings, presented itself as it twisted and jabbed at Akito's heart. He hid his pain though, turning onto his back and staring up at Hatori.

"And what if I wanted it to be your business?" He reached up a thin hand and brushed it over Hatori's cheek.

"I am afraid that, that isn't a possibility." Akito stared at him, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs as Hatori's words stabbed at the fragile muscle. Covering his pain by smiling up at Hatori while dropping his hand.

"I guess you're right, but you know, since I'm probably going to die soon, would you..." He paused, looking away, thinking over his next words before his deep grey eyes focused on the handsome face of the family doctor. "Would you become my lover for the remaining time I have left?" Hatori glanced down at him, their eyes meeting for a moment before he went on, doing his work.

"It isn't humorous to speak of such things." Hatori said, turning away and standing up, walking over to a cabinet at the far end of the room, taking Akito's tea cup, then walking back over and setting it down on the table close to where Akito usually sat. The thin younger man, on the otherhand, sat up, and slowly stood, striding to his futon, where he sat back down, his eyes following Hatori's every move.

"I wasn't joking Hatori."

Author's Corner

It seems that people think I don't want reviews... well I do.. I feel like a reject when I don't get any T.T look you big meanies, you made me cry... okay not really, but still I like reviews, so please, if you read this leave a review, it'd be much appreciated. .

Bye bye!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nine Tailed Mistress

Hatori looked unphased as he continued his work of straightening Akito's room, not that it was untidy in the first place.

"What was the purpose of saying such a thing?" Hatori asked, not even bothering to look at the fragile figure sitting down on the futon.

Akito stared at him, thinking about it and knowing why he said it, but knowing that he could never tell Hatori.

"Come here Hatori." He commanded, leaving no room for arguement, not taht Hatori would have complained to begin with.

The dragon strode over to the younger man and knelt before him, looking at him expectantly. Akito lifted his right hand and placed it upon Hatori's cheek, liking the feel of his warm cheek against his cold hand. Staring into those green pools he loved so much, Akito leaned in closer to Hatori, stopping so close that he could smell the tooth paste the older had used only a few short minutes before.

"What if I told you it was because I'm in love with you? Would you be my lover then?" Akito asked, masking his anxiety.

"You would need to love me to be in love with me." Hatori stated matter-of-factly unmoving and expression unchanging.

"You wold be right about that, so I guess what I really want is to just have sex with you, I mean who really wants to die a virgin." Akito said, his heart tightening in pain. Being the master of covering his emotions, he smirked at Hatori.

"If it was only the simple fact of not wanting to die a virgin you could have asked anyone."

"Well I thought that it would be best to have my first experience with someone who doesn't completely repulse me."

"If that was--" Akito cut him off, pressing his lips to the soft petals of Hatori's.

Closing his eyes, he slid his right hand from his cheek into his mass of brown locks, tangling his fingers in the silky strands. Hatori stared at him, slightly surprised, but his facial expression never changed as the younger man ravaged his mouth before pulling away, panting softly.

"Take this as the last dying request from the master of the house." Akito breathed, before continuing, "Enjoy it. If you have to, close your eyes."

Again his hot lips were pressed against the older man's as he wrapped his arms around his neck and slowly straddled his lap. Settling into Hatori's warmth, he could feel his arousal begin to present itself, tenting in his kimono. Hatori was unresponsive the first few seconds until he closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the sensations Akito was proving him with, finding it not to be entirely unpleasant. Their lips moved together as Hatori wrapped his arms around Akito's petit frame. Akito broke the kiss, panting before placing a chased kiss on Hatori's red and swollen lips. Sliding back, he laid down, beconing Hatori to follow. Hesitantly he moved to lay above Akito, staring down into his deep grey eyes while Akito returned the stare. Slowly they each leaned in, their kiss started a new, Akito's tongue prodding at Hatori's lips which the dragon promptly gave access to. The battle began, their fight for dominance, Hatori seemed to win the battle effortlessly.

Akito placed his hands on Hatori's neck and slid them down to his shoulders, under his usual white coat, then slid them down his arms, stopping when the material gave a considerable amount of resistance. Hatori noticed the sturggle and sat up on his knees, sliding it off then reaching for the hem of his shirt. The fragile young man stopped him, sitting up and grasped the material in his hands then pulled it up over the dragon's head. Akito leaned in, kissing him, his hands exploring the smooth and well toned flesh that was now uncovered for his greedy fingers to devour.

Leaving the kiss short he pulled away, moving to Hatori's jaw, placing open mouthed kisses over his heated skin. Trailing his love licks down over the columb of the olderman's neck, nipping and kissing in various places while Hatori panted. Akito's thin fingers moved down, swirling around his belly button before sliding down even farther and undoing the belt that secured Hatori's pants in place then fumbling with the button and zipper. Reaching into the confines of his breaches, Akito cupped his hand over the obvious bulge tenting in Hatori's briefs. Smirking he pulled back, beginning to slide his kimono off, exposing his ivory flesh to Hatori's eyes. His skin was smooth and hairless aside from the small patch of hair at the base of his erect member. Once again he laid down, waiting for Hatori to join him.

Author's Corner:

For all of you fanfic readers who are going... 'BUT AKITO IS A WOMAN!'.. yes I know, I'm not stupid, I just prefer the anime version of Akito where 'she' is a 'he' so that is the way he is in all of my fanfics.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Nine Tailed Mistress

Hatori stared down at the man, ready to be taken by him, but something twisted in his gut, telling him that it was wrong. Dropping his head, he readjusted his pants, buttoned them, and slid the zipper closed. Akito saw this, his heart sped up and tightened all at the same time while his stomach churned with the realization that Hatori didn't want him.

Just as the brown haired man got up to leave, Akito sat up, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and placed his chin on the curve of his neck.

"What's the rush, Hatori?" His voice was smooth, unwavering. Hatori turned his head, his words cold.

"This isn't right, Akito." Akito covered the sting of those words with an amused chuckle and ran his hands over Hatori's bare chest.

"How long, would you say it has been, Hatori? Since you have held another in your arms, and felt their warmth?" Akito placed a smirk on his lips, running his hands down to the still present bulge in the other's pants. "Far too long, I can only assume. It's obvious that you want this just as much as I do. So do not deny yourself the pleasure of my company, even if it is only for a few short hours."

Akito had to congratulate himself on a job well done when he felt Hatori's shoulders sag in defeat and felt him turn in the gentle embrace. Their eyes met and Akito had to stop himself from pouncing on his love that very moment. Instead he leaned in, pressing their lips together and once again unclasped Hatori's pants. As their tongues danced with one another, Akito slid his hand down to join his other hand at Hatori's trousers and slowly worked together to slide them off his hips.

Pushing the dragon back, Akito straddled his hips and sat on Hatori's thighs, their erections rubbed together, causing Akito to moan and arch his back. Placing his hands on Hatori's chest, he leaned on them slightly before lowering himself, placing a chaste kiss on Hatori's bottom lip. He trailed open mouthed kisses down his chin and over his jaw, then followed his neck down to his shoulder, then along the curve of his collarbone. He nipped and sucked, ensuring the presence of a love bite before licking his way down the middle of Hatori's chest to his belly button. Lightly he kissed the dip then left wet kisses along his lower stomach then pulled away, looking Hatori's monster erection up and down. It was large, in both length and width, his manhood looked like a child's compared to Hatori's giant girth. A deep blush colored his lips for a moment as he leaned in, giving it an experimental lick over the weeping slit.

Hatori's hiss of pleasure reassured him that it was alright and so took it in his hands, rubbing it while he enveloped the head with his mouth, pushing his tongue against the slit and sucking lightly. Closing his eyes, he slid his lips farther down the shaft, taking as much in as he could, using his hands to rub the rest of it. The groan of pleasure that fell from Hatori's lips made Akito smile around his cock. Sliding his lips up and down on the dragon's arousal, Akito sucked with all his might but pulled away, lifting three fingers of his left hand to his lips and slowly slid them into his mouth, sucking enough to wet them then slid his hand down to his waiting entrance. He licked up and down the vein on the underside of the giant shaft while pushing two fingers in, ignoring the initial discomfort, scissoring his fingers in his own entrance before sliding the last finger in. When he felt that he was prepared enough, he slid himself back up to be eye level with the man beneath him.

Pressing their lips together, he rolled them over, giving Hatori control. The other broke the kiss, staring into those deep grey eyes.

"Are you sure that you'll be okay without lubrication?" Akito nodded, his heart jumping in excitement at the care Hatori was showing toward him. Wrapping his arms around the strong neck, he felt Hatori positioning his manhood at the puckered entrance, guiding it as he slowly eased himself past the ring of muscle. Akito held in the gasp of pain that shot up his spine, instead closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Hatori.

Slowly he slid in, inch by inch. Akito whimpered as tears formed in the corners of his eyes, the pain like lightning bolts up his back, but he stuck it out, waiting for that final moment when he would be one with his love. With one last pain filled gasp, the dragon was fully sheathed inside of the darker haired man. Stilling, he waited for Akito to adjust to his size while the younger panted, his eyes closed and a thin wet line from the corner of his eye and disappeared into his dark forest of hair. Thin legs wrapped around his waist, telling him the other was ready and slowly he slid out, with a small mewl from Akito. Gently he thrust back in, causing the other to groan.

It was slow for a while, until Akito breathed out the command to go faster, and what were once groans of pain were now moans and mews of pleasure. Hatori closed his eyes, as sweat started to slide down his brow and dampen his hair. Their bodies moved together, soon though, Hatori found himself wandering to a different situation, one from long ago. The body under him was no longer that of the Sohma head, but of a healthier petite one, with full round breasts and soft skin. Instead of the throaty moans of a Akito it was Kana's cries of pleasure ringing through his ears. Thrusting with more vigor, he moaned as well, grabbing the boney hips in his strong hands and pushing farther into Akito, causing the latter to bite his lips and throw his head back in ecstacy, his seed spurting out in small jets all over his own stomach as his chest heaved. Hatori too lost in his fantasy only registered the fact that he felt his climax rushing in on him.

"Oh god," he groaned out then arched his back, burying himself deep in the waiting body of Akito and releasing himself, then one name found it's way past his lips. "Kana."

Author's Corner:

Hope you enjoyed that and just so you all know, I am currently using a program that does not have spell check and I'm too busy to look for one on the internet.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Nine Tailed Mistress

'Kana?' Akito thought, his heart stabbing and twisting with pain. He looked up at Hatori who was panting as sweat trickled down his brow, his manhood still seated in Akito's backside, slightly erect. Licking his lips, he leaned forward and captured the pink lips of his love, flipping them over so he was on top. Soon he broke the kiss, staring down into those beautiful green orbs.

"Never speak that name again, Hatori." He demanded, his eyes challenging as the other's expression became serious, but gave no reply. Akito smirked and squeezed his inner muscles around Hatori's shaft before speaking again, "This time, call out my name when you release, but say it louder and with more passion and I may forgive you."

Hatori looked away and slowly sat up. Gently, he pushed Akito away, pulling out of him in the process, then stood up, looking for his clothes. The younger sat on the ground, staring up at him, his fragile heart beat thumping against his ribs, but only succeeding in pumping the hurt through his entire body, one that braught tears to his eyes as he turned away.

"I guess that is all for today." His words were nonchalant, but underneath Hatori's rejection was doing its worst.

"Don't anticipate this ever occuring again." Hatori said, pulling his pants on and buttoning up his shirt, bending over to grab his lab coat before walking from the room, not even throwing Akito a sideways glance. The pale man fell onto his side, tears silently streaming down his face.

One Month Later

Hatori hadn't mentioned what took place that day, but had continued on with life as if nothing happened. Everything was about to change though as this was the third morning in a row that Akito had his head in the trashcan, vomiting his guts out before sitting back and wiping his lips. Slowly he crawled back to his futon and flopped down, moaning softly as the material of his kimono rubbed his sensitive nipples.

He was tired but his forming erection prevented him from a mid-morning nap. Turning onto his back, he pushed aside the layers of cloth and began stroking his manhood. Using his freehand, he placed them on his lips before sucking them into his mouth and licking them. When he was satisfied that they were wet enough, he moved that hand down to his puckering entrance and slowly pushed one finger in, moaning as images of his one time lover flowed into his mind. He pushed another finger in, arching his back and moaning louder. Releasing his cock, he moved that hand to his chest to play with his nipples, which were standing at attention and burning red like the petals of a rose. Toying with himself, he saught out the bundle of nerves deep inside himself and when he found it, he poked and pordded at it, sending pleasureable shocks up his spine. When he finally came, he fell back on the cusion of his futon with a heavy sigh and panting.

'Is this how pregnant women are?' he wondered to himself as he turned on his side, one hand on his flat stomach, which he stroked fondly. He had known since the day before that he was going to be carrying the child of his love, having been around long enough to see some Sohma women bear their husbands children and knowing that he was now able to do the same for Hatori. Smiling softly, he patted his stomach, closing his eyes and preparing to go to sleep.

"Are you nauseous again, Akito?" That smooth voice said, sending chills up the younger's spine.

"I'm fine." he sighed, sitting up and looking at Hatori. 'I have to tell him...' Slowly he stood, walking over to his one time lover.

"This has been going on for a while now, has it not?" Hatori watched Akito as he sat down on a pillow, Akito sitting beside him.

"Well I've had morning sickness, nausea, my nipples are sensitive, and I'm tired more than usual." Akito said boredly, trying to drop hints. Hatori, on the other hand, had a puzzled look on his face. Slowly starting to lose his patience, Akito grabbed Hatori's right hand and placed it on his stomach. "I'm pregnant, Hatori!" He said, slightly exasporated, then a small smile found it's way to his lips. "It's your's Hatori."

The other jerked his hand away, stunned into complete silence. Akito stared at him, hurt on his face, he didn't bother hiding it. Slowly licking his lips, he dropped his head.

"You're disgusted right? The person that is the bane of your existence is now carrying your child."

Hatori stared at him then shook of the initial shock of his proclaimation, "It is impossible for you to be pregnant, Akito."

"You forget Hatori, there are many strange things that occur in the Sohma family." Akito lifted his head, staring into Hatori's beautiful green eyes, his own eyes challenging.

"You can't keep it Akito." The older stated. Those words stung Akito more than anyothers from those soft lips, but he knew that Hatori would act this way, after all, why would he want the product of his one time union with his enemy. He was Hatori's enemy, he had prevented his love from being with the love of his life, Akito knew that Hatori secretly hated him for pushing him and Kana away. Akito dropped his head, staring at his hands.

"If I was her... you would want it wouldn't you?" Akito's words were accusing and sharp.

"That isn't he point, Akito. I--" The youngers head snapped up, glaring daggers at Hatori as he interupted the other.

"It is the point! If I was her you wouldn't be telling me to kill this child! If I was her you would be in l--" Akito caught himself and looked away. "Get out! I don't want to talk to you right now." The black haired man said, fighting back the tears that he knew would fall.

Slowly Hatori stood and walked over to the shoji door, and slid it open, not even looking back at Akito as he stepped out then slid it closed.

Author's Corner

I'm still editing this chapter, but I figured I get it done for you guys and then do revisions later. Hope you enjoyed! Review please!


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nine Tailed Mistress

At night was the only time that Akito could see Hatori and pretend that they were a happy couple, excitedly awaiting the birth of their first child. This was the twelth night in the last two weeks, after the insident in his room, that Akito snuck from his bed and ventured to Hatori's bedside. He had an uncharacteristic smile on his face as he took Hatori's hand in his then pressed the other's palm to his cheek.

"I love you, Hatori." He whispered to the sleeping figure then placed the large hand on his stomach. "We are going to be a happy family. You know that right? Even though you might not be happy now, I know that when the baby is born you'll see how beautiful it is and know that it was all because I love you." Akito slowly leaned down, pecking his love on the lips before laying down at his side, resting his head on the other's chest.

licking his lips, he played with the pattern on Hatori's kimono, staring at the his finger as he drew the patern, "I was thinking that if the baby was a boy then we could name him Aimu and if it was a girl then we could name her Emiko, what do you think? Good right?" Akito nodded then sat up, looking down at the dragon's sleeping face.

"Well I best be going, I need to sleep as well." The younger stood and tip-toed out of the room as quietly as he could, knowingly to him, the eyes of his love fluttered open behind him as he closed the door.

Akito was always faced with the hard truth every monring when Hatori came in to his room, demanding how long he was going to continue with his little games.

"Akito, you know you're too weak to nurture that child. If you don't die during child birth then you won't live for much longer after that." Hatori said in all seriousness.

Akito glared at the taller man then a sadistic smile found its way to his lips. "Wouldn't that be satisfactory though? My death, that is. Even if I got rid of the child I will die someday, that is inevitable, something that you are aware of. Really, if I was that woman you would be jumping for joy and taking responsibility by marrying her. So, maybe it is just that you don't want any evidence of my existence, am I right Hatori? You would rather not be burdened by the memory of me and so you are trying to trick me into erasing something that is of my being. Right?" He looked away then laughed, "It is useless Hatori, so save your breath and leave me already."

Hatori stared at Akito, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips as he turned and left, Akito glaring after him. As the shoji door slid shut, Akito laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.

On the other side of the shoji door Hatori sighed, as he stepped lightly down the halls. When he reached his room he sat in a chair, reclining as his thoughts wandered. He was confused why Akito visited him nightly, whispering such sweet words in his ear and touching him like he would a lover. Pressing his index fingers to his temples, he rub in soothing circles with his eyes closed.

'What am I going to do? Am I doing my job by looking out for his health, or is it as Akito says? I don't want the child because it isn't Kanas?' Another sigh passed his lips, this one heavier and more exasperated as he let his head hang back. His dark orbs studied the ceiling tiles as he mentally contemplated his current situation.

It was another one of those nights when Akito ventured into the lair of the dragon, doing his routine of caressing Hatori's palm over his cheek before placing it over the slight bulge of his stomach.

"Hatori, today I was--" He was cut off though as Hatori pulled his hand away and the other sat up, obviously awake. The other backed away, surprised. "Hatori... you--"

"I've been awake the whole time, Akito." His words were cold as he stared at the blanket covering him. He didn't see the desperate smile on Akito's lips as the other crawled back toward him.

"Then you know that I... I love you. We could start over with the baby and be happy." Akito said, smiling at Hatori as he placed his hand over the other's.

"That is impossible, Akito. I can never return your feelings and we cannot live happily with something that should never exist in the first place." The older man's words were spiteful as he glared at the white sheets over his legs while pulling his hand from Akito's touch.

Akito felt his anger rise as he snatched Hatori's hand and pressed it over the bump on his stomach, the other looking at him amazed.

"Just because it shouldn't have happened doesn't mean you can discard it and pretend that it doesn't exist!" The dark haired man shouted as he glared daggers at the other. The dragon tugged at his hand, trying to pull it away, but the younger male held it firmly in place. "This, Hatori, was created from our love making, so even though you may be able to throw away my feelings like unwanted garbage, I can't. Even if I have to take of this child alone, I will do it!" The younger Sohma seemed to have enough of their arguing and threw Hatori's hand away before getting up and storming from the room.

Author's Corner:

This chapter is really short, heck this story is going to be short, but I have a good reason to stop here. So please, be patient for the next chapter, I might make the next chapter the final one, but it'll be long... er longer than the other chapters -.-;;. Thank you my awsome readers and my beloved reviewers.


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